I feel great
I just peed on a car
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize