in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
