I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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