And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
