4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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