Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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