Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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