First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
