I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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