Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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