you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
