I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize