I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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