The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
