I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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