I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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