i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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