i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
