I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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