Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
