Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
