can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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