Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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