Only a mothe r could love this liver
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
