If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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