and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
