New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
