New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
