hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
