Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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