I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize