Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
