i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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