I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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