I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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