Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
