K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
