Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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