good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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