his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
