I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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