I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
