my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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