I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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