just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
