but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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