Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
