Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
