I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
