I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
