Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
