Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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