Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
