I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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