I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she smelled like a LAN party
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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