what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
