dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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