i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I am available for nakedness
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
