Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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